Life requires that we are brutal, but only when necessary. Unnecessary brutality is damaging. That said, I have recently decided that I need to go hunting, that there is something in the experience of killing what I am going to eat that is beneficial and that I need to do. I question whether this act would be unnecessary brutality however, when in fact, I can go to any of the grocery stores near me and eat something that is already dead. I don't know if these dead things have been killed with only the necessary amount of brutality however and this is where my desire to get closer to the process of eating comes to hunting. I know too much about how animals in factory farms are treated to look away. In the spirit of yesterday's post I am trying to be accountable for the pain that I know is caused by eating meat, especially the way that the food industry "farms" animals. I have addressed this in the past in other ways, I had been vegetarian off and on since high school and vegan for two years, but over the last year or two have again begun to eat everything. My ideals led me to being vegan, but practically that diet was not healthy for me and made me suffer unnecessarily. During this period in my life, I ended up trying not to do things, instead of finding the strength to do what I needed to do to live. I currently understand my place in the world better, and that I must own that place. I have to have courage to make my mark, to get things done, to cause pain when necessary, to be brutal, but only as needed. I see a necessity in hunting in a society that gets so much of its food from industrial farming, from animals that are born and raised in suffering, that have beaks and tails seared off because their lives are spent in living quarters much too small. These animals and these practices are not supporting us or the world. I find myself looking to my roots, to humanity's past, to get in touch with my ancestors so that I will be able to reconnect with the natural world. Part of this for me is hunting. Seeing what it is like to take a life to support my own. Honoring that which I kill and that nourishes me. I know I need to find the right hunter in order to do this. To find someone who doesn't just kill things, but kills out of the need to see the pain that they cause by living, who has the courage to look at the brutality inherent in their actions, who holds themselves accountable for the grave responsibility that comes with this. Eating meat causes pain, I hope that in hunting what I eat, I am able to look more closely at this pain to make sure that in my actions I am not causing too much.